Most Days
by cumcicumca
Summary: Most days, he could keep his gaze from straying.  But some days, when the temptation became too much, he would let his eyes slip.  A collection of bleach drabbles and one-shots, mostly IchiIshi
1. Most days

First chapter, yay!

I decided that, since I can never get more than a one page fic done, I'm gonna just upload a drabbles/one-shot collectio, so here it goes!

Pairing: Ichigo/Ishida  
Rating: K  
Warning: Hints at gay tendencies  
Spoilers?: Chapter 49  
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, then Ichigo would proclaim his undying love for Uryuu, and Orihime would be gone by now, but alas, it belongs to Tite Kubo.

Most days, he could keep his gaze from straying. Most days, he could keep his thoughts from becoming muddled with daydreams. But some days, when the temptation became too much, he would let his eyes slip, and let his mind become distracted. His mind (his pride) told him it was wrong, against everything he believed in, rejected the thoughts of the orange haired soul reaper. But his heart would always betray him, hitching when the loudmouth was nearby, nearly leaping from his chest when the other boy looks his way.

But these betrayals are all kept secret. No one would find out about them, if Uryuu had anything to say about it. Ever since he had accepted Ichigo's reiatsu during their competition, something had changed. And he blamed the soul reaper for every bit of this change.


	2. Turn of Events

Pairing: Ichigo/Ishida  
Rating: T+ (i think)  
Warning: Strong hints at sexual stuff  
Spoilers?: Nope  
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, then Ichigo would proclaim his undying love for Uryuu, and Orihime would be gone by now, but alas, it belongs to Tite Kubo.

AN: Going to change the rating to M, just to be safe, and later chapters might have stronger content.  
And, I'll be taking requests, most any pairing. So if you would like to request something, go ahead and leave the request in a review, including character(s), theme, and any specifics that you'd like (er go, if you wanna see Uryuu eat strawberries from Ichigos stomach, go ahead and tell me heheh). Remember, these are requests, so I won't necessarily do them, but I will do my best to do all of them. And I'll be more inclined to do it if it's a pairing I like, but I'll still do them if they're pairings I'm not fond of :] You can find a list of the pairings I like on my profile  
Anyways, here's the chapter~~

Start;

There was a time when the Quincy would rather be force-fed his own arrows than taking part in his current endeavors. But that was a long time ago, and although he wouldn't admit it, he was incredibly happy that those times were past. It never felt quite right, their rivalry. He always felt like it was a forced competition. But, as their bodies moved in tandem, voices mingling, he decided it wasn't so bad, this turn of events. And as he was given release, he came to the conclusion that he could get past the fact that he was bedding a soulreaper.

Fin.

Sorry it's so short, but hope you enjoyed anyways :]

-Baron out


	3. And so the Moth Courts the Flame

Pairings: Hinted renji/ichigo, renji/byakuya, and one sided ichigo/renji  
Rating: K+  
Warning: Strong hints at male/male relationships  
Spoilers?: Nope  
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, not me  
A/N: I think this is my new favorite thing... Somewhat experimental, and probably fairly confusing (I don't have a beta, so I apologize for typoes and such)  
Got a new laptop :D  
But, all of my wips are on my old one D: But rest assured they are being worked on! And Ishida/Ichigo/Strawberries is coming ;D, just gotta get out of this rut, cause at the moment, all I feel like writing are tragedies and one-sided relationships...  
Anyways! Request information is on my profile! Onward with the story!

.'.'.'.'.'.

The moth flits around the flame, taking its damaging heat as replacement for the moon. Knowing that it cannot reach what it strives for it suffers the replacement, though it may cause harm the insect can't refrain from accepting the embrace of a replacement. And so it was with the red-haired vice captain. He knows full well that the moon is far from his reach, and accepts his numbing replacement. He has come to terms with his plight, and makes the best of it, although he may find it hard to breath beneath his mask of suffocating silence at times, he trudges onward. And although he can see that he is snuffing out the flame, he continues in his selfish endeavors, oblivious to the flame's true intentions and the moon's lamentations. And so the moth courts the flame.

.'.'.'.'.'.

The flame knows that it is only a replacement, and, taking no offense in being used it selfishly devours the moth. Though it's gut is still left empty, it can pretend. Ichigo likens himself to the flame. Though he knows that what he does is destructive, and fundamentally wrong, he cannot change his ways. The void in him demands filling, and though he knows his feelings are not reciprocated, he plows on. He tells himself that he is doing the moth a favor, and that he is helping the lieutenant fill a void much like his own. But that ever present voice in him (perhaps it's his hollow, or maybe it's just his conscience) tells him it is a selfish lie, that he is only aiding his adored moth's self-destruction. But he continues on with the charade. He has gotten a taste, and though he may never be filled, he will not stop trying untill the moth drifts to a new flame. And so the flame consumes the moth.

.'.'.'.'.'.

And as the moth inhales the flame and the flame takes solace in the moth's non-love, the moon is left on it's own. And the Kuchiki thinks that if only the moth would _try_ to reach the moon it could succeed, that the cool rays would embrace with more warmth than any flame could offer. And he can't help but resent his replacement, and blame his plight on the boy, though he knows that it is his own fault he is stuck in such a limbo. For if he would just reach down to the moth, all would be well. But he is filled with an uncertainty, and a fear that he can't seem to vanquish. Though he knows the moth's true intentions (and sees the stolen glances, and feels the want-filled reiatsu), he does not act upon his knowledge. For he lacks the gall. And so the moon envies the flame.

.'.'.'.'.'.

And in this constant state of purgatory, the trio cannot help but feel that it is hideously wrong. But they haven't the courage to make the change that they desire, the change that they _need_.


	4. A Necessary Heartache

Pairing: Aizen x Gin  
Rating: T  
Warnings: Suggested (possibly abusive) relationship between Aizen and Gin (slash, m/m, yaoi, shounen ai, etc.)  
Spoilers?: Spoilers for the end of the Soul Society arc, and for the Hueco Mundo/war arc  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kubo, sadly  
A/N: Wrote this and then realized that it doesn't completely fit with the canon of Aizen and Gin, so read it assuming that Gin isn't after revenge/Aizen never attacked Rangiku.

* * *

Gin knows he's being stupid. He knows that there isn't any hope for his persuit. Sure, he may get what he physically wants out of it, but he'll never get the emotional satisfaction. And even though he loves him, he knows that it has to end. For the 'greater good', for the sake of everyone (even himself), he has to be stopped. He knew it would come to this eventually, the man's thirst for power and control (whether in bed, or in battle) were immense. And history shows that those with desires like that would do nothing good.

And as he lay in the afterglow, he reminisced about how things took this turn. He was so sure of his affinity for Rangiku, but, it never gave him that sense of wholeness, not like what he felt when around Aizen (_his Aizen_). Even when his so called 'lover' would leave him bruised and cut in the mornings, he felt like it would all be worth it, he felt like eventually he would get those three little words. But then he had shown his true colors, had shown the evil that lay behind his soft smile. And Gin knew that it had to be ended. But letting go wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. And so he planned. It tore him up, and destroyed him to think of what he had to do. But there was no way around it.

* * *

wooo and here I thought I was _never_ going to be able to write again haha, this is an old one, but I cleaned it up a bit, I have a few others that should be done soon enough (including that IchiIshi strawberry smut haha)


	5. Invasive

Pairing: squint to see some Ichigo/Ishida  
Rating: G  
Warning: none  
Spoilers?: Nope  
Disclaimer: Sadly, Bleach was not my invention, I just toy with characters

He was content to observe. Really, he didn't need to take part in any extravagancies such as friendships, or love. But his heartstrings would still twang when he felt the substitute soulreaper's reiatsu brush at him, curious and probing and _invading_. He knew full well that Kurosaki wasn't _aware_ of it, and that he wasn't in _control_ of it. But still, his hopes would rise and then fall, as the reaper kept his attention on his friends. Although, it was his own fault, Uryuu mused. If he had the brass courage to confront the orange-haired boy about what his reiatsu was doing, and that if he didn't learn to keep it in line there would be _consequences _then all of this might stop. Or maybe it wouldn't, but Uryuu didn't like to think about that alternative, he refused to get too hopeful (because really, what would the soulreaper want with him, he was just a twig of a Quincy afterall)_._ Although, the Quincy would never confess as to what form the punishment would take. And so he observed from a respectable distance.


	6. Invasive II

Pairing: hinted Ichigo/Ishida  
Rating: G  
Warning: none  
Spoilers?: Nope  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately Bleach is not written by me

Ichigo would never admit to it, he would take his secret to the grave. But you can never keep secrets from yourself, and his inner hollow would cackle at his stubborn dismissal of his desires. The old man would just look away, for once keeping silent, though at times the substitute would think about asking his zanpakuto what he should do, how to make the ache stop. But he remained stubbornly quiet, and hoped that his spiritual pressure wasn't giving too much of him away (though knowing how apt the Quincy was at sensing reiatsu, he was sure that the other boy probably had some inkling of his feelings). Sometimes Ichigo thought of coming clean to someone, anyone. The weight of his feelings was almost _unbearable_ at times, and he felt that if he only had someone to talk to about it it might be easier to shoulder. But he didn't want to think about the looks any of his friends might give him, and the other soulreapers were out of the question, and Zangetsu was never straightforward with him. So he continued to carry the weight of (seemingly)unrequited desires.


	7. Sleepless

Pairing/characters: Gin, Izuru and Rangiku, with hints at GinKira and GinRan  
Rating: G  
Warning: none  
Spoilers?: not really, mentions of canon!character death, so be sure you're caught up with the hueco mundo/war arc  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately Bleach is not written by me

This little plotbunny appeared while I was trying to take a nap, so I _had_ to write it, of course. Please excuse any grammer/spelling errors, I don't have a beta (though I would love one if anybody is interested? just message me over on my Tumblr, I check that more regularly than this)  
Oh, and those requests are in the works! Fear not :)

* * *

In the weeks following Gin's death, Rangiku would often find herself drifting off into a restless slumber, dreams of hands and bones and blood inevitably ending with her waking to screams. At first the screams would startle her, throw her off, until she came to terms with the fact that they were emitting from her own throat, and that there would be no stopping them. She grew tired, and ached but was too scared to ever drift too far into sleep, lest she dream of _faces_ and _voices_ and _names_ and demons she was not yet ready to confront. So she would make herself tea and sit outside, trying to ease her bruised mind and aching heart.

:.:.:

He would often find himself startled awake, heart pounding, panicked, and drenched in a cold sweat. It was easy enough for him to accept this. It was an inevitable hardship, he thought. His captain had abandoned him, and nightmares of hands and bones and blood were anticipated, almost _welcomed_. It gave him a sense of normalcy, in a world that had been completely flipped upside down. And when he would wake from his discontent sleep, he would make himself tea and sit outside, head bowed and heart feeling irreparably torn.

:.:.:

It was a month after Ichimaru's death that they saw each other. Izuru recognized the haunted, sleepless look in Rangiku's eyes, heavy with bags that couldn't be completely hidden no matter how thickly she may cake her makeup on. It started with a nod, an understanding glance. Eventually it moved into lunch, free time spent together, not talking yet (neither of them felt they were quite ready for that).

:.:.:

They had been meeting regularly for what seemed like eons before either of them broke their silence. It was Rangiku that cracked first, voice broken, pleading, asking _why_, why had he left her, abandoned her. Izuru had nodded his understanding, mumbling about how he understood, about how it all seemed so surreal, how distant he felt from the others. Rangiku looked up, somewhat surprised, not anticipating the agreement (rather, expecting false comfort, false understanding). Upon seeing the look the third's lieutenant gave her, she came to the startling conclusion that he must have been in the same boat as her. They had bother loved him, both suffered heartache at his absence. His death, something she thought was tearing only her apart, was something they could both grieve over. They were on equal grounds.

Their talks started off rocky, talking about the former captain, about all that had happened and all that they felt about his leaving. Eventually they started to move on, away from the breaking voices and tears. Talks mourning his death moved onto talks celebrating the good times, and talks about what the future might hold. And it wasn't long before their shoulders stopped hunching, and their eyes lightened, and they felt they were able to laugh whole-heartedly again. Their meetings eventually fizzled out, coming to an end. But neither was too remorseful for this, they had both shared something, and moved on, and the small smiles at each other in passing was all they really needed to be assured they weren't alone.


End file.
